


A Birthday Surprise

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Oops, cat!john, cat!john is too excited over everything in this oneshot, i dont like how i write dave, it switches between johndave to davekat to johndavekat to johndave again, it's a birthday present for a moirail of mine :3, it's all over the place sorry, it's mainly just the pairings up there., kanaya and jade are only mentioned, rose has a small part at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2012-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-21 03:11:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Dave's birthday, so his friends and his pet, a talking half-cat named John decide to throw him a surprise party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Birthday Surprise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [@captoryourlove (Jake)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%40captoryourlove+%28Jake%29).



> Happy birthday to my friend, Jake, more like moirail. Haha. As promised, here's the oneshot. Hope you enjoyed~

There was a kitty, a kitty named John, who was owned by a teenage boy named Dave. It was Dace’s birthday today, and instead of celebrating, he was busy sleeping. John silently stalked into his bedroom, then suddenly leapt, pouncing onto his owner’s bed, landing feet first on Dave’s chest.

“Happy birthday, Dave! Happy, Happy, Happy birthday! Get up! Get up! It’s time to for mew to celebrate!” John greeted, bouncing up and down in an attempt to wake him up.

A red eye cracked open from under him, drowsily, the owner made a dismissive gesture, saying  
“So?? Itsmybirthdayrightsoifiwanttocelebrateitafewhoursthanyouwantillfuckingdothatgoodnightjohnseeyoulater.”

Then the eye closed and Dave fell asleep again, well attempted to.

“But, Dave! Someone’s at the door! Someone’s at the door!” John repeated, repeatedly jump-pouncing.

“Fine, fine. Geoff me, and shoo, skedaddle, whatever just leave while I put something on.” 

With a hop and jump, John got off of Dave like he had asked and went out of the room, his tail swishing back and forth behind him. After a few minutes, the sleepy teen got up, grabbed a random pair of pants from his dresser, put it on, stumbling through the hallway leading to the front door, catching himself and walking in strides, he passed John was sitting on the floor, watching the door, his tail next to him, a curious look on his face, reaching the door finally, he opened it, revealing a now-wide eyed Karkat. 

“Sup.” He greeted.

“Strider, why the flying fuck are you shirtless?” 

“What? You don’t like what you’re seeing here?” Dave replied, smirking.

“Just let me the fuck in, douche, it’s cold.” Dave then stepped inside and Karkat walked in, soon after being pounced on by John.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! It’s Karkitty! Hi! Hi! Hi! How are mew?”

“Oh it’s you again, hi, I’m fine, and it’s Karkat, not Karkitty.”

“I like Karkitty better.”

“Whatever. Get off of me.”

“You smell nice. You smell like candy, why do you smell like candy? Rose doesn’t smell like candy, neither does Kanaya, Kanaya smells like mint-chocolate and jade smells like grass and dog hair. I like candy! Do you have candy? You probably do, you smell like it!” John started shooting off questions, one after another, before pawing at Karkat’s jean pockets in search of the source of the smell he was picking up.  
“No, I don’t have any, and even if I did, I don’t think I’ll be allowed to give it to you, you’re a meowbeast, cat, whatever. The question still is there; get the hell off of me.”

“But….. You smell nice! Really, really nice!”

“Dave, get your goddamn whatever you call John off of me.”

“You heard him.”

“Fine.” With another hop, John went off the boy, but didn't stray too far, he sat down almost immediately next to Karkat who then sat up, looking up at Dave, whose usual poker face had twitched up into a half-smirk.

“What the _**fuck**_ are **_you_** smirking at **_me_** for, Strider? Do my facial features amuse you again in any way?”

“He likes you.”

“Who, John? Of **_FUCKING_** COURSE HE DOES. **_THANK FUCKING YOU_** for stating the absolute goddamn **_MOST OBVIOUS_** thing in the universe.” Karkat replied, scowling. 

“What are mew even doing here in the furst place, Karkitty?” John, oblivious to every word that Karkat just said, asked.

“To see if Dave is going to spend his whole damn birthday in here. Are you?” The smirk didn't leave, but grew a bit wider.

“Given your expression hasn't wavered, you totally are. Goddamnit.”

“Maybe I will, Maybe I won’t. I may need some persuasion.” He defended himself.

“Fuck you Dave, just answer the goddamn question.”

“I’m still tired, maybe later?” The half-smirk grew even wider, blooming into a full-sized one, which made Karkat flip him off and scowl.  
“Okay, Okay. I was planning on inviting Rose, Kanaynay and you lot to my house and have this huge house party. If you had other plans involving me, shoot them now or forever be lost in the abyss of ignored ideas and dreams.”

“You have exactly an hour to get yourself and most likely John ready to go out and, I don’t know go to party? I’m just playing messenger boy here. “

“Oh, Karkat. I don’t see you wearing a messenger hat and bag at all.”

“Again, fuck you Dave Strider.”

“Again, maybe later, Karkat Vantas.” 

“Are we going out? I want to go out! Can I? Can I, Dave? Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???~”

“Yeah, sure, sure. Just put some clothes on and a hat for your ears. Wouldn’t want anyone asking why the fuck do you have ears and a tail.”

“Oh okay!” John said, plodding off to his own bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

“How the actual fuck did you even find him?”

 

“Gift from Bro, I thought he was cute so I kept him.”

“I didn’t know Dave “Coolkid” Strider was capable of using the word cute.”

“Oh, I so can, but if you don’t like it, I could always use the word, adorable, like you, kitten. I just realized, breaking news. I, Dave Strider have two adorable idiots that have taken my heart. That must be illegal, like I give a fuck.”

“How many times I am going to have to drill through your goddamn head, that I am _**NOT**_ in any way, shape or form, adorable??? Nope. Nope. “Karkat denied, shaking his head back and forth, and then John walked in normally, this time, wearing jeans and a blue hoodie, a beanie covering his ears, he looked very excited.

“Are we ready yet? Can we go??? Can we? Can we???”

“Calm your tits, Egbert. I haven’t even _started_ getting ready, so you’ll have to wait.” Dave responded, and then flash stepping out of the room.

“Where did he go?” John asked, bewildered.

“To his room, where else?”

“The bathroom?”

“He’ll need clothes first, dumbass.”

“Hey!”

“What?”

“That was mean.”

“Does it look like I care?”

“No, not really.”

“That’s because I don’t.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After 30 minutes, Dave remerged, clothes clean and changed, hair washed, dried and style, signature shades on, they all piled in the car, and after checking attendance (rather unnecessarily, since they got in the same time), Dave was at the wheel, keys in the ignition, foot on the pedal.

“Let’s go, bitches.”

“But where to?” John asked.

“I’ll lead the way, just get in the goddamn car already, they’ve been waiting….”

“Who the fuck is they?” Dave asked.

“Never mind, just start driving.” 

“Oooooookay…?” Dave then turned the keys and pressed down, making the car start speeding down the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After another 30 minutes, Karkat told Dave to stop and park in front of an (unknown to both Dave and John) building.  
“Why the fuck did you tell me to stop here?”

“Wait here, okay? You know what, I’ll just text you.”

“Oooooookay…?”

Karkat then unclicked himself from the seat and opened the door, shutting it closed, then disappearing into the building, John watching him disappear, bewildered again.

“Where did Karkitty go?”

“I don’t fucking know, we’ll just have to wait.”

A few minutes later and Dave’s phone buzzed, signifying a text came from Karkat; he pulled it out, reading it to himself.

 **From: Karkat Vantas  
** To :Dave Strider  
HEY DAVE. CAN YOU SEND JOHN OVER? HE’S KINDA NEEDED HERE.  
With a smirk, Dave texted him back.

**From: Dave Strider  
To:  Karkat Vantas  **

heh heh sure as long as you don’t use him in a bad way if you know what i mean...

The text back was almost instant, making the smirk on Dave’s face grow even wider.

**From: Karkat Vantas **  
**_To: Dave Strider_ **

**FUCK YOU DAVE FUCK YOU HARD. **

Still smirking, he turned to John.

“Yo, Egbert.” 

“Yeah Dave????”

“Karkat apparently wants you in that building too so yeah.”

“What about you?” 

“I’ll be alright by myself, I’m not wanted there yet, just you.”

John frowned but followed orders quickly, soon disappearing as well into the building. After a few more minutes have passed, Dave received another text.

__**From: Karkat Vantas  
** To :Dave Strider  
HEY DAVE? YOU CAN COME IN NOW. 

__**From: Dave Strider  
** To:  Karkat Vantas  
oh sweet ill be there faster than you can say dave strider

Dave unclicked his own seatbelt, took the keys out of the ignition, locked the car and flashstepped his way into the building. 

“Where did the lights go? It’s darker then the dark side of the moon in here, where’s the lights?” 

As if by magic (white science), his question was answered, and he heard a banner unfurl. 

“Happy birthday Dave!” Everyone in the room exclaimed, revealing themselves. 

“Holy shit damn.”, was Dave’s only response. 

John suddenly tackle-pounced him to the ground, giggling. 

“Sooooooooooo~ Do you like it? Do you? Do you?!” 

"I don’t like it.” He replied, straight faced. 

“You don’t?” John started to frown. 

“I love it.” Dave said, cracking a small smile. 

Glad you did!” 

“So, who made all this shit happen? I know it wasn’t you, it wasn’t kitkat either. Then who did?” 

“I did.” A clear-toned voice rang from behind Dave, causing him to turn around. 

“You gotta be kidding me. Rose? You did all this?” 

“Indeed, I did. With the help of our friends, of course.” 

“Thanks guys, you’re the best.” He expressed to everyone in the room. 

“You’re welcome, Dave!” 

“Let’s get this party started!” He exclaimed. 

And so they did, the party being a huge success, ending on a happy note, with everyone content and happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any grammatical errors or typographical ones. Hope you enjoyed, happy birthday again Jake. *cuddles* 
> 
> And sorry for any ooc characters. Especially dave. Sorry about him. 
> 
> Til Next Time~
> 
> ~Angel


End file.
